Tales of Nasrudin
From Le Cabinet des curiosités, des étrangetés et des singularités de Eric Poindron , one of my favourite sites (in french):
Nasrudin loved every day in the week except for the Fridays. Every day he could hang out with his friends, wander about, do anything he liked but on Fridays, because he had studied at the koranic school, he was expected to preach in the mosque. And most of the time he had no idea whatsoever what to say.
One day he climbed the mimbar and looked at his audience. "Does anybody have any idea what I'm going to talk about?" said Nasrudin. Unanimously the audience said they didn't. "Well then, if no one has a clue about such an important subject I don't see why I'd waste my time with you lot", and he climbed down the stairs and left.
Next Friday Nasrudin climbed the mimbar and looked at his audience. "Does anybody have any idea what I'm going to talk about?" said Nasrudin. Unanimously, remebering the previous week, the audience said they did. "Well then, if you already know there's no point in me spending your time is there?", and he climbed down the stairs and left.
The third Friday Nasrudin climbed the mimbar and looked at his audience. "Does anybody have any idea what I'm going to talk about?" said Nasrudin.
Half of the audience said they did, the other half said they didn't. There was a silence while Nasrudin was rubbing his hands together. "Well then," he said with a big smile, "let those that know tell those that don't!" and once again he left the mosque!
Who Are You Going To Believe?
A neighbour called on Mullah Nasrudin. "Mullah, I want to borrow your donkey."
"I am sorry," said the Mullah, "but I have already lent it out."
As soon as he had spoken, the donkey brayed. The sound came from Nasrudin's stable.
"But Mullah, I can hear the donkey, in here!"
As he shut the door in the man's face, Nasrudin said, with dignity: "A man who believes the word of a donkey in preference to my word does not deserve to be lent anything."
Nasrudin went into a bank that he did not usually use and asked to withdraw a large sum of money from his account. The bank clerk was naturally suspicious and asked him politely:
"Have you any means of identifying yourself?"
Nasrudin reached down into the pockets of his long cloak and found an ornate mirror. He held the mirror up and looked studiously into it and exclaimed to the clerk:
"Yes, that’s me all right."
Excellent story borsky!